‘A man is a man,’ is a
popular maxim in the girls’ world.
This could not be farther
from the truth. There are tens of types of this kind that we like to call men. Together,
with your permission of course, we shall explore some of the types of men we
interact with everyday during our ramblings in college, and life.
So kindly, sit easy,
darling, hunk.
Indefatigable seekers of attention
You know them, don’t you?
They are all over the place. Showboating is their mustered art.
From shouting at the top of
their voices along the Academic Highway, to competing to answer questions in
class –never mind their take on the concept is wayward – dressing in showy
manners, brandishing flashy gadgets for everyone to see, these are a type you
MUST eschew.
Their ego tells them that
their Cupid’s arrow can prick every girl’s heart! How to treat them is simple:
ignore them.
Wannabe gentlemen
I sympathise with this
stock. They exhibit painfully excessive chivalry. The gent could scrub clean the whole corridor in his hostel simply
because a female friend has promised to drop by. He could starve himself to
feed his crush.
And generous givers of
favours these are! Whatever favour. If you are still grappling with the
semantics of this statement, I mean he could even sleep a little before the
crack of dawn, racking his brain on an assignment for some chic as the latter revels
at a school joint, worse with other men. What pity!
Alpha men
These are the real men. Real
men, mark you.
Such are driven by
testosterone, ambition and want to win, conquer. Alpha men exhibit the traits
of male animals you see on NatGeo. Call them cocky, but their aggressiveness is
incredible. Hate or like them, but these don’t compromise to impress anyone.
They are stout in their ethics, and relentless in their resolves.
Fortunate is the lady who
has earned for herself one of these.
Boys in men’s bodies
When you run into the path
of these, dear girls, flee. They are startlingly irascible, and display all puerile
tendencies you can think of. He can slap and insult you in your friends’
presence, and do anything to hurt your fragile
heart.
Their decisions are rash,
and actions silly. Did I mention that they complain a lot, about insignificant
things? In their hearts lives the fundamental imbecility of mankind.
Is there a better thing for
this type than to grow up?
Club invalids
The heart sometimes finds
home even on rocks, in thorns. Bad boys are adored by girls, en masse. Why so,
is clean beyond my ken.
These are men whose morals
are wild, dare I declare. They are crude in mannerisms, they make coarse jokes,
they are lazy, brutish and amazingly dirty. Dirty in grooming, and talk.
Whenever a lady passes by, whatever they see and remark would nauseate even the
dirtiest of hogs.
Let them be, for they are
under an irrevocable spell.
Womanish dudes
You must have seen them,
walking surrounded by a plethora of girls. Being in the midst of girls takes
them on cloud nine. They speak with girlish accents, fancy feminine articles,
and hang out with girls all the time.
If your bloke is this kind
of man, dear, a man who is ever at your lap; at the salon, during your girls’
time, and carries your handbag, what you have there is not a man. It is
something else.
Call me a chauvinist, but
these are a contemptible disgrace to all men worth the title.
For thy transgression
against us reeks, God shall not have
mercy on thee!
What kind of man is your
man, honey?
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